Adolescence and the Age of Social Media: A Co-Parenting Perspective

The Digital Youth Index, a research project that provides insights about the digital experiences of young people living in the UK, found that 75% of 8-10 year olds are on social media in one form or another – a staggering statistic.   

Of course, social media can be incredibly positive, allowing young people to engage creatively, expand their knowledge, or find new interests. However, there are more sinister elements.

When asked by Sky News as part of a study, 75% of under-16s had been contacted by strangers through social media and online gaming.

Findings from the Millennium Cohort showed that 48% of 16 to 18-year-olds agreed or strongly agreed with the statement, “I think I am addicted to social media.”  

Francesca Rawlinson, a psychotherapist who frequently works with children around issues including the effects of social media, comments:

“It starts with the algorithm. It pushes what children online engage with, which in and of itself is based on their subconscious feelings.

These feelings can be healthy but often aren’t being handled properly, and children can end up in a negative feedback loop, comparing themselves negatively against peers.

The internet is still relatively new and the research as to its effects on the brain is in its infancy, particularly given the advent of AI.”

In this context, Adolescence, the hit Netflix show produced by Stephen Graham and Brad Pitt, has been released to widespread acclaim and popularity.

The show, with themes of teenage bullying and toxic masculinity, has created conversations particularly for parents of teenagers about the role social media plays in the lives of their children, the impact on their self-worth and the risk of radicalisation.

These conversations can be incredibly difficult, not least when you have two parents who are not in the same house, and not necessarily on the same page.

As children age, their relationship with technology can change. They become more adept at using smartphones and social media.

It is therefore important to ensure that parents communicate about their children’s needs as they mature.

Beverley commented:

"I encourage parents to keep communication about their children open and under review as children’s needs are changing constantly especially as they grow older.

The introduction of a mobile phone is a prime example of when existing arrangements for children will need to be discussed and reviewed.”

This could take the form of updating a coparenting agreement, or just being able to communicate effectively with the other co-parent.

Having open lines of communication can also help in the event that one co-parent becomes aware of any issues like bullying, therefore allowing for the issue to be dealt with wholesale and collaboratively, as opposed to in a piecemeal fashion.

Parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard can be very helpful for this purpose, allowing parents to store important information like health appointments and providing a messaging platform with their ToneMeter, which helps parties avoid aggressive messaging.

Katie Deans, the UK Business Development Lead at OurFamilyWizard comments:

“OurFamilyWizard is a tool that not only protects children from witnessing aggressive messaging but also, with ToneMeter, can impact the way parents are commenting with each other.”